The Lie of Love Read online

  Darcy nodded mutely, unable to trust herself to speak at that moment. Not for the first time she wished fervently that Harry could have been someone else’s son – anyone’s rather than Julia’s.

  ‘Fantastic,’ Amanda purred, linking Darcy’s arm. ‘So all we have to do is play hostess and mingle. That’s my kind of fundraising.’

  Amanda led Darcy over to a group of people. She had no more idea who they were than Darcy did but, being the more gregarious of them, she soon found out that they included some of the designers and their university tutors. Amanda led a lively chat about the night and what sort of thing they were likely to see, whilst Darcy did her best to nod and smile and look interested, all the while her gaze flitting from corner to corner of the dimly lit room searching for a sign of the person she dreaded seeing, and yet wanted to see more than anything else. The room started to fill with paying guests and the hubbub grew louder as new conversations around the room competed with theirs; mixed scents and warmer air following the newcomers in. Darcy wished she could run and hide, but she kept her nerve and reminded herself time and again why she was there. She had instigated this, all of it, and she couldn’t let Sophie down now no matter how hard she found it.

  From the corner of her eye she saw Julia talking to someone by the silver curtains. She realised, with a jolt, that it was Harry. He was dressed in a sharp black suit and tie, nothing like the beach bum image he usually liked to portray, and the contrast made him painfully handsome. Darcy fought the ache of desire gnawing at her, the familiar longing to twist that thick hair in her fingers, to have those lips caress every inch of her, to feel that lean chest naked against hers. She watched as Julia handed him the cash box. For a second, he looked up and across the room, meeting her gaze. Darcy felt the heat rush to her face, but he seemed cool, unperturbed by the sight of her. He gave a small smile, and a carefree raise of the hand in a greeting that was obviously designed to allay suspicion in his mother, who now followed his gaze to see where it had settled.

  ‘I think we should sit down,’ Darcy said in a small voice to Amanda.

  Amanda continued to elaborate on some anecdote of her own youth to a pretty young student, oblivious to Darcy’s distress.

  ‘Amanda,’ Darcy said again. ‘Can we sit down?’

  ‘Sorry… oh, Darcy, don’t you feel well?’

  ‘Just a little faint. It’s a bit hot in here and I’m so nervous about the speech it’s making me queasy.’

  ‘Darling, why didn’t you say?’ Amanda made their excuses and led Darcy to a seat near the compere’s stand.

  ‘Can’t we sit further from the stage?’

  ‘Afraid not.’ Amanda sat and patted the chair next to her for Darcy to do the same. ‘VIP area here and we, of course, are the VIPest of the VIPs.’

  Darcy tried to smile and sat down feeling anything but happy. This was far too close to Harry and temptation for her liking and she tried to ignore the fact that now he was only a few feet away, setting up a table with their cash box on it. She could almost feel his eyes, burning into her back. Why had she been stupid enough to think that she could avoid him until he went back to university? It was only a matter of time before she ran into him again while she was so closely involved with his mother. She was tempted to think that he had invited himself along tonight just to see her but she chided herself for it – that was an arrogant and stupid thing to believe. Julia had hit the nail on the head; he was there to see what young and lovely model he could chat up.

  ‘It’s filling up nicely, isn’t it?’ Amanda said, breaking into her thoughts. ‘Just think of all that lovely ticket money. I do think we’ll have Sophie away before the end of the year if we keep up this momentum. Have you contacted the surgeon yet to discuss dates?’

  Darcy turned to her. ‘I haven’t really thought that far ahead…. I mean, I thought it would take us much longer than this to raise the money and there didn’t seem any point…. Do you think I should?’

  ‘You’ve spoken to him at some point, haven’t you?’

  ‘Yes, a brief phone call to talk about her condition and then I emailed him a video of her mobilising so he could assess her. He’d rather do it in person, but he said that he was used to people from other countries having to do it that way until they could afford to see him in person.’

  ‘That’s good. Perhaps we ought to think about setting a target, a realistic end date for all this.’

  ‘Don’t you think we should just raise the money first and then worry about fixing a date to go?’

  ‘That way leads to complacency,’ Amanda smiled. ‘If I push you towards a target you’re going to be under pressure to meet it.’

  ‘And that’s good because…?’

  ‘Because there’s no urgency in the other way. You could amble along for months and months, sitting around in supermarkets with your tin rather than being dynamic and organising more nights like this. Take advantage, in the nicest possible way, of Julia’s good nature, and Harry too while he’s available. Before long he’ll be back at university and we’ve lost another valuable pair of hands.’

  Darcy stared into space, lost in her thoughts. Perhaps Amanda had a point. This whole enterprise, aside from the emotional complications of her ailing marriage and secret trysts with Harry, had been far more stressful than she had ever imagined it could be. To see it come to a satisfactory conclusion sooner than she had scheduled would be good for everyone. And perhaps there was no harm in setting a date – she was sure Mr Steinbeck would be able to set it back in the event that they didn’t manage to get the money together in time.

  ‘What timescale do you think is reasonable?’

  Amanda mulled the question over for a moment, as if doing some complex internal calculation. ‘I say we aim for New Year.’

  ‘That soon?’

  ‘Why not? We’re almost halfway there already and now that the charity is getting a high profile around and about, there’s no reason why we can’t attract lots more help…. I do believe Ethan from the Echo is going to be here tonight. Why don’t we ask him to pitch in again?’

  ‘Do you think he would?’

  ‘He’s coming, isn’t he? So he must still be interested.’

  ‘I suppose so. I don’t know about the deadline but it can’t hurt to set it mentally. I can email Ted Steinbeck and see what his schedule is like for the early part of next year.’ Darcy couldn’t help but smile. ‘Imagine if we could have Sophie walking for the summer.’

  ‘That’s the spirit!’ Amanda glanced across the room and settled on a figure with a look of triumph. ‘There’s Ethan now. I’ll get him and tell him to come and sit with us in the VIP area so we can seduce him to our cause with cheap booze and scintillating conversation.’

  Before Darcy could argue, Amanda was up, out of her seat. As she watched her friend negotiate the now building crowds with considerable grace, she became aware that the seat next to her was occupied. Instantly, she recognised the smell.

  ‘You can’t talk to me here,’ Darcy said in a low voice, looking straight ahead.

  ‘Why not?’ Harry replied. ‘Lots of people are talking to you here so they won’t think anything strange about one more doing it.’

  ‘It’s…’

  ‘It’s what?’

  ‘Dangerous.’

  ‘Like you’ll explode or pull a gun on everyone? You don’t look capable to me.’

  ‘Harry!’ Darcy turned to see him grinning. ‘This is nuts.’

  ‘I’m part of the fundraising efforts and I’m asking you for instructions about the cash box.’

  ‘Are you?’

  ‘No.’ He leaned closer. Darcy was falling under his spell as his scent filled her senses.

  ‘What did you come over for?’

  ‘I came over to say that you look incredible.’

  Darcy was silenced by the earnest look that now crossed his previously cocky features.

  ‘You shouldn’t have come here looking that good,’ he said in a low voice,
‘because now I know that I can’t let you go.’

  ‘You have to. I’m married.’

  ‘It didn’t seem to worry you before. Besides, he’s a moron. Where is he tonight? Not here?’

  Darcy shook her head.

  ‘If I was married to you I wouldn’t let you go out looking that gorgeous unless I was with you. Some handsome, lifesaving student with the stamina of a racehorse might come and steal you from under my nose.’

  ‘Harry… please…’

  He leapt up from the chair as two figures approached. ‘Nice to see you again,’ he said, reaching out to shake hands with Ethan Reeves. ‘And sorry, Amanda, I stole your chair for a moment to grab a quick chat with Darcy.’

  ‘If you kept it warm for me then I have no objection. Besides, Darcy needs someone to keep her company because she’s all nervous and jumpy tonight.’

  ‘Really?’ Harry looked down at Darcy with the ghost of a wink. ‘Why would that be?’

  ‘The speech,’ Darcy said very deliberately. ‘At the end of the show.’

  ‘Ah,’ Ethan smiled. ‘I remember how my first one was. I thought I was going to pass out with nerves.’

  ‘You do a lot of these events then?’ Harry asked.

  ‘One or two. I get asked to host a lot of things too. As a matter of fact, Amanda and I were just discussing what else the Echo could do for Sophie’s Steps. She mentioned that you’re up against a deadline now.’

  Darcy flicked Amanda a loaded glance. She had clearly taken the deadline idea and run with it already. Darcy couldn’t help but be impressed by her friend’s tenacity and a little bit guilty that she didn’t have quite that much energy. But then Amanda didn’t have a family eating up her time. Neither was she an emotional cripple, which was exactly what Darcy was as she stood with Harry at her side, feeling as though the breath had been stolen from her lungs and every rational thought from her head.

  ‘We have discussed setting a solid date for Sophie’s surgery,’ Darcy said. ‘And we’d really like it to be early next year.’

  ‘You’d originally said next summer?’ Ethan replied.

  ‘Yes,’ Amanda cut in. ‘but we’re gathering funds much quicker than we’d anticipated. Which is lovely and we’d like to build on that, get our target before everyone is sick of seeing our silly faces.’

  ‘Oh I’m sure nobody would ever tire of seeing those lovely faces,’ Ethan said gallantly. Amanda gave her most musical, endearing laugh.

  ‘That’s entirely flattering but not entirely true.’

  Harry’s attention was drawn to the doors. ‘Here’s my date,’ he said.

  Darcy’s head snapped around to see Rachel come in, alone and searching the room anxiously. She looked radiant in a simply cut, dark green shift dress and black heels, her hair piled loosely on her head. Darcy suddenly felt ridiculously overdone and cursed herself for letting Amanda dress her. Harry waved her over as her gaze settled on them.

  ‘You look lovely, darling,’ Amanda said as Rachel gave Harry a shy smile.

  ‘Thank you. So do you.’

  Darcy forced a smile of her own and wished that she didn’t feel quite so wretched right now. She wanted to go home, and never think of any of this again. ‘It’s so good to see you here,’ she said to Rachel. ‘We’re always glad of your support.’

  ‘When Harry asked me I couldn’t say no,’ Rachel said. ‘Not for such a good cause.’

  ‘You never know,’ Harry said, ‘if there’s a dress going cheap I might get it for you.’

  Rachel laughed, a little too heartily. ‘If your student loan is as paltry as my coffee shop wages then we might just manage a sleeve between us.’

  ‘Come on…’ Harry reached for her hand. ‘Let’s go and find my mum. She’s probably bossing the hell out of some poor bartender somewhere. But she can’t half haggle when the chips are down and we could do with her help if we’re going to get the whole of that dress.’

  Darcy watched them go, her emotions somewhere between relief and heartbreak. It was always going to end like this, but seeing him move on so quickly was a shock, especially in light of what he had just been saying to her. Was he playing some elaborate game with them both? She wanted to be happy for Rachel, who was a lovely girl and had waited a long time to finally get Harry’s attention, but she couldn’t. And she suddenly didn’t trust Harry’s motives at all.

  ‘We’re almost ready to start, I think,’ Amanda said.

  Ethan took a seat next to Darcy and Amanda sat at her other side. Darcy wished that someone other than the Echo reporter could be sitting with her, even Ged would do at that moment. It wasn’t that she disliked him or had any issues with his support; it was just that she didn’t feel emotionally stable enough to hold a sensible conversation with him tonight.

  After ten minutes or so, the show began. Darcy looked around the room to see that roughly two thirds of the venue had been filled – not as good as they had hoped for but considering the size of the place it was a respectable turnout and, as Amanda reminded her when she leaned across to share this opinion, they still had the sale of the designs to factor in. Darcy’s eyes were everywhere but on the catwalk as her mind worked overtime. She glanced around a few times to see where Harry and Rachel were, and towards the end of the first half of the show, she saw them emerge from behind the silver curtains together, heads close and laughing. Harry fetched a spare chair and sat it next to his at the table where the cash box was to be set up so that Rachel could join him there. Darcy tried to ignore the dart of jealousy that pierced her heart and turned her attention back to the show, watching without interest as the models swaggered up and down. The one saving grace was that the accompanying music was so loud Ethan could barely get her to understand the odd word, let alone hold an in-depth conversation about anything. But as the lights went up and the music stopped, Darcy knew that the torture was not over yet. There was to be an interval and then a second show.

  As people moved towards the bar for their interval drinks, Julia came out to the front looking slightly flushed and harassed but grinning from ear to ear. This was Julia at her best and happiest: organising.

  ‘It’s going really well, isn’t it?’ she beamed.

  ‘Marvellously,’ Ethan said. ‘Is this another of your bright ideas?’

  ‘Oh no,’ Julia laughed, ‘this is all down to the students and tutors. I’m just making a nuisance of myself in the back helping to get them changed quickly.’ Her gaze flitted to where Harry and Rachel were chatting to a group of very well preserved women – potential customers, Darcy hoped. ‘She’s a lovely girl, isn’t she? I don’t know why Harry had to be so secretive about them dating.’

  ‘Oh I think they’re simply perfect for one another,’ Amanda agreed. Although, as Darcy glanced at her, she seemed not to be talking to Julia but to her.

  ‘How long have they been together?’ Darcy asked, her mouth dry.

  ‘I’ve no idea,’ Julia said. ‘I should think, the way he’s been skulking around, it’s been most of the summer. I think he’ll be terribly sorry to leave her when he goes back to Bath. I suspect he’s a little bit in love, the way he’s been mooning about the place for all these weeks.’

  ‘In love,’ Darcy repeated. ‘Do boys that age even fall in love?’

  ‘Do I detect a hint of cynicism in that question?’ Ethan laughed. Darcy had hardly realised what she had said until he spoke.

  ‘I only remember what I was like at that age,’ Darcy excused, ‘and the boys I dated.’

  ‘They do say we’re less mature than girls as we grow up,’ Ethan agreed. ‘And I’ll let you into a secret… we never change even when we’re past forty.’ He shoved his hands in his pockets and gave her a good-natured wink. ‘Speaking of boyfriends, where’s your husband tonight? Fashion not his scene?’

  ‘We couldn’t get a babysitter,’ Darcy lied.

  ‘Ah, always a problem.’

  ‘I think I’ll get us some drinks,’ Amanda said. ‘Shall I get a bottle, something
we can all share?’

  ‘Sounds good,’ Ethan said. ‘Would you like me to come and give you a hand carrying the glasses?’

  ‘I’d be delighted,’ Amanda said. Ethan held out an arm and she took it as they made their way through the crowd to the bar.

  ‘Is he happy?’ Darcy asked Julia.

  ‘Hmm?’

  ‘Harry. He seems happy with Rachel. You’re pleased about them?’

  Julia gave her a sideways look. For a moment she looked confused. But then she smiled. ‘Of course. She’s a lovely girl. Although… I don’t expect it will last.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘He’s going to be moving away again in a few weeks and these things rarely survive distance. It’ll be a long time before he settles with a girl.’

  ‘You sound certain of that.’

  ‘He’s my son; I know him better than anyone else. Surely you think the same about your children?’

  Darcy thought about Jake – all bluster and barriers, and Sophie with the secrets that she kept and never so much whispered. She didn’t think she could know less about them if they were strangers. How had her family ended up like this? But Julia seemed sure of Harry. Darcy wondered what Julia would think if she knew the truth. Of course, that could never happen. Only she and Harry knew the truth and that was the way it had to stay.

  ‘It seems a long time until my children are off into the world on their own. I try not to think about girlfriends and boyfriends.’

  ‘I used to think that. But time passes quickly and before you know it they’ve left you.’

  Darcy looked to see Julia wipe a tear from her eye. She had never seen her display emotion like that before. It was a deeply unsettling sight.

  ‘Are you ok?’

  ‘Of course,’ Julia blustered. ‘Being silly and sentimental…. Ah, here’s the cavalry,’ she added, nodding her head at the return of Amanda and Ethan. ‘I don’t know about you but I need a stiff drink.’

  The second half of the show was much the same as the first: music that was too loud, clothes that Darcy was barely interested in, a room that was too hot and too full of people. Harry and Rachel continued to watch from their table, having been kept too busy at the interval to come and talk to Darcy’s little group. Julia joined them at the front this half to watch the rest of the show, showing her appreciation for each design with enthusiastic applause which got louder with every glass of wine. Darcy wished she could drink herself into oblivion, but being the designated driver had to remain depressingly sober. She had a speech to deliver too, and the closer the moment came, the colder her hands felt, the stronger the palpitations in her chest, the shallower her breathing. More than anything, she wanted all this to be over.