The Lie of Love Read online

  ‘You’ll be fine, darling,’ Amanda said, grasping her hand in an over-affectionate grip when Darcy shared her fears.

  ‘Would you like to do it?’ Darcy asked.

  ‘I’d love to but sadly it’s not my party.’

  Darcy nodded. She didn’t want to seem ungrateful and she knew that she had to show her appreciation for all the effort made on her behalf, but this was going to take a large dose of courage.

  As the music faded and the lights rose, Darcy was called to the microphone. Facing the crowd and wishing her knees would stop trembling, she grasped it in one hand, holding up a cue card with the other. The words and letters seemed to slide around in her vision, and her mouth felt too dry to produce the sounds, but she took a deep breath and began:

  ‘Many of you don’t know me or my daughter. Many of you perhaps have better things to do, lives and families of your own to worry about. Many of you have given more money than you can afford to be here tonight. Which is why, I don’t have the words on this card powerful enough to express my gratitude. I am humbled and deeply moved by the effort made here on behalf of my daughter, Sophie. Everywhere we go help is offered and if this campaign has taught me one thing, it’s that people make the most incredible gestures of kindness. I have to thank so many people. My friends Amanda Gale and Julia Simmons…’ she gestured to their seats and there was a faint, uncertain ripple of applause, ‘the students and staff of Bournemouth University for coming all this way and putting on a show in our town, for donating every penny of the profits to Sophie’s cause. I have to thank the owners of the Mattisse Club for letting us have the venue for free. Most of all I have to thank you all, wonderful people without whom all this would have had no point.’

  Darcy took a deep lungful of air and exhaled it forcefully as she lowered the card that she had not only been reading, but had been using as a shield to hide the crowds from her view so that she could actually speak. There was a brief pause as people clearly decided whether she had finished or not, and then a ripple of applause. Darcy tottered down the steps and back to her seat, feeling that her legs were somehow somebody else’s but relieved that the part of the evening she had been dreading most was over. There was a brief moment, as she took her seat, where she was seized by a melancholy as she thought of Ged at home when he should have been there to share her moment. But if he had been there, Ged would not have kissed her and told her how proud he was. He would not have plied her with champagne and shown her off to all and sundry. He would not have done all the things that other men do to show their love for their wives. Perhaps it was better he was not there after all.

  Darcy, Amanda, and Julia were kept behind long after the crowds had left, thanking people, speaking to the club owners about the door money, counting the takings from sales in the cash box – Julia and Amanda getting steadily drunker. Harry and Rachel had disappeared and Darcy was fairly certain they hadn’t left the club, which didn’t help her mood.

  ‘Listen…’ Darcy said when she had lost count of the takings for the third time, ‘why don’t you two jump in a taxi and go home. I can finish up here.’

  ‘We can’t leave you alone,’ Amanda hiccupped.

  ‘I’ll be perfectly safe,’ Darcy insisted. ‘There are still people around upstairs and I have the car parked just outside.’

  ‘Harry is here somewhere,’ Julia joined in. ‘I’ll get him to come and protect you.’

  ‘He’s busy with Rachel,’ Amanda said.

  ‘Nonsense. He’s not allowed to do hanky panky,’ Julia laughed.

  ‘I think you’d better tell him that. Because I bet he’s round the back right now doing hanky panky…’

  ‘Amanda!’ Darcy cried, her head ready to explode. ‘Please…’

  ‘Sorry…’ Amanda said, trying to be serious. But then she looked at Julia and they both burst into gales of laughter.

  Darcy waited for the laughter to subside. ‘Let me call a cab for you both and I’ll finish up here. No offence, but I’ll be much quicker on my own.’ Without waiting for a reply, she wandered over to the bar where an attendant was sweeping up. ‘I don’t suppose you have the number of a reliable cab firm you could call to come and take my friends home?’

  The man nodded and went to a phone hanging on the wall behind the till. Darcy sat on a stool and laid her head on the bar top for a moment. She was tired, desperate to get the dress off that she felt ridiculous in, ready for a cup of tea and her warm bed. It had been the most trying event of the campaign so far and she was glad it was almost over.

  ‘Ten minutes,’ the man said, causing Darcy’s head to snap up.

  ‘Thanks.’

  Harry wandered into the main room from a side door, laughing with Rachel. Darcy almost groaned. She had got enough to contend with as it was. They made their way over and Harry angled his head in the direction of Julia and Amanda.

  ‘It’s a long time since I’ve seen mum so drunk.’

  ‘I think that might have something to do with Amanda. She’ll be sorry in the morning.’

  ‘I can’t wait,’ Harry replied. ‘I’m going to love giving her the drink lecture she usually saves for me.’

  ‘Don’t be mean.’ Rachel nudged him playfully and Harry grinned.

  ‘Do you want to grab their cab with them?’ Harry asked her.

  Rachel’s expression darkened for the shortest time as she glanced between the two of them. ‘You’re not coming with us?’ she asked.

  ‘I’ll stay here and make sure nobody mugs Darcy.’

  ‘Nobody is going to mug me and the bouncers out there have harder nails on their little fingers than you,’ Darcy replied, with just a little too much venom. Harry only laughed.

  ‘That may be true but I can pretend. It’ll help my manly ego.’

  ‘I can stay with you,’ Rachel put in.

  Harry pointed at Julia and Amanda, who were now both staring into space as if they would collapse on the table at any moment. ‘Those two might end up in Glasgow if someone doesn’t make sure they’re ok. I’d be happier if you went with them and made sure they got to the right front doors.’

  For a moment Rachel looked as though she would argue, but then she nodded. ‘Alright then. Will you call me?’

  ‘Yeah, sure. But I’ll probably see you for my coffee anyway. Thanks for coming tonight.’

  ‘Thanks for asking me. I had fun.’

  The toot of a car horn sounded from outside and one of the bouncers stuck their head in the door. ‘Someone ordered a taxi?’

  ‘Come on, ladies,’ Harry called, ambling over to the table where his mother and Amanda sat. ‘Time for home.’

  With slurred goodbyes and uncertain steps, Harry and Rachel managed to gather them into the waiting cab. Darcy heard the door slam shut and the car speed away.

  Harry came back alone.

  ‘You need some help with that?’ He nodded at the cashbox where Darcy had returned to her counting. She looked up.

  ‘You know what… I might do it at home tomorrow. I know we’re supposed to get the club owner to verify but Rachel kept a brilliant tally here of what was sold so I could show him that instead.’

  ‘Good idea…’ Harry held her in a penetrating gaze.

  ‘What?’

  ‘You do look amazing.’

  Darcy looked down at herself. ‘I look like a drag act.’

  Harry burst into laughter. ‘You don’t. If drag acts looked like you I’d be trawling gay bars with some seriously mixed up feelings.’

  Darcy couldn’t help a small smile. He moved closer and reached for her hand.

  ‘Not here,’ she said, pulling away.

  ‘We need to talk.’

  ‘We don’t. We need to keep a safe distance.’

  ‘I can’t…’ Harry lowered his voice. ‘I can’t stay away from you. I’ve tried and I know it’s for the sake of your family but…’

  Darcy frowned. ‘What about Rachel?’

  ‘Rachel?’

  ‘You two were on a d
ate, right? Your mum thinks it’s been going on for a while –’

  ‘It hasn’t. I brought Rachel here tonight to throw my mum off the scent. She’s guessed I’ve been seeing someone and I wanted her to think it was Rachel.’

  ‘So you weren’t on a date?’

  Harry shook his head.

  ‘And you haven’t been seeing her for weeks?’

  He shook again.

  ‘Won’t your mum ask Rachel at some point how long you’ve been seeing each other?’

  ‘Not if she doesn’t get chance to.’

  ‘What does that mean?’

  ‘We’re not going out again.’

  ‘Does Rachel know this?’

  ‘Not yet. I’ll tell her tomorrow. It was just a friendly night out anyway.’

  ‘Rachel thinks she was on a proper date.’

  ‘She doesn’t. I never said it was a date.’

  ‘You don’t need to say. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes.’

  Harry ran a hand through his hair and loosened his tie. ‘She’s great, Rachel, but…’

  ‘You need to put her right. It’s not fair to string her along like this.’

  ‘Like you string me along?’

  Darcy pursed her lips. ‘That’s not fair either.’

  ‘I know, I’m sorry.’

  ‘Besides… how can I even trust what you say is true?’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘How do I know that I’m not the bit on the side and Rachel is your girlfriend? It wouldn’t be the first time in history that’s happened to a gullible married woman.’

  Harry stepped forward and took her by the shoulders, ignoring the warning look reminding him that people were still in the building. ‘You’ve seen what I’m like around you. How can you think that’s not real?’

  ‘I don’t know but it doesn’t matter. It has to stop.’ Darcy shook him off and slammed the lid down on the cashbox.

  ‘At least let me walk you to the car.’

  Darcy paused, then relented. ‘Alright. But walking to the car is all we do. No getting in the car, no driving anywhere, no anything that might lead to other stuff.’

  Harry smiled and followed as she headed for the door.

  Outside the night had cooled to its lowest point and the fresh, crisp air cleared the fugue from Darcy’s tired brain.

  ‘You’re heading home now then?’ Harry asked, his words echoing across the deserted car park.

  ‘Yes. Home to bed. I’m worn out.’ Darcy was aware of the banal nature of the conversation, but she understood the need to fill the pregnant silence that hung between them.

  They stopped at the car, Darcy balancing the cash box on one arm as she searched for her keys.

  ‘You’d think a handbag this tiny wouldn’t be able to swallow a set of car keys but apparently it can,’ she huffed.

  ‘Here…’ Harry took the box from her. ‘Stop being so proud and let me help.’

  ‘I’m not being proud…’

  Harry grinned and Darcy didn’t know at that moment whether she wanted to slap him or kiss him. She tried not to think about the choice but finally felt the cold steel in her fingers and opened the car.

  ‘Thanks,’ she said, taking the box and tossing it onto the passenger seat. As she turned to say goodnight, Harry had already stretched across to rest his hand on the car roof and was leaning across her, his face close.

  ‘I know you’re right, and that we can’t happen anymore. But I miss you.’

  Darcy immediately regretted her reply. ‘I miss you too.’

  Taking her admission as his cue, he leaned in to kiss her but she turned her head away.

  ‘Sorry,’ he said, stepping back.

  ‘It doesn’t matter. But it’s best if you keep a safe distance,’ Darcy replied, longing scoring her guts even as she issued the warning.

  ‘So… this is it? This is really the end?’

  Darcy nodded. ‘You knew that.’

  ‘I just didn’t want to accept it.’

  ‘Harry…’ Darcy began, but he laid a finger over her lips.

  ‘Don’t. I understand why and it makes you the better person. I know your family comes first.’

  ‘They do. I’m really sorry.’

  ‘Don’t be.’ He paused. ‘Can I ask one thing before we end it properly?’ Darcy raised her eyebrows and he took her silence as permission to air his request. ‘Meet me once more. Just once for old times’ sake. I can’t leave things how we did.’

  ‘I can’t –’

  ‘Please…’

  Darcy sighed. ‘This is madness….’ She thought for a moment. ‘We could go for a quick drive now while everyone is in bed. Down to the beach where it ought to be deserted. But we just talk.’ Harry nodded. ‘Get in, quick,’ she added before climbing in at the driver’s side, ‘before I change my mind.’

  He did as he was asked and Darcy pulled away from the car park, wondering just how much damage this one more moment of madness would cause, knowing even as the thought crossed her mind that in the end she would never have refused him.

  ‘Is there something going on I should know about?’ Amanda asked as she stirred sugar into her drink.

  ‘Such as?’ Darcy’s heart missed a beat as she stiffened in her seat.

  ‘You tell me.’

  ‘There’s nothing other than the normal stuff. I’m fairly sure that Ged hates me, sometimes I wonder if Jake is all that keen, and Sophie keeps everything to herself.’

  ‘You seem… preoccupied. Not just with the family things. And secretive, if we’re accusing others of that. You’re always missing; your phone is often switched off and…’ Amanda narrowed her eyes, ‘if I didn’t know you better I’d say you were having an affair.’

  ‘I’m not!’ Darcy squeaked.

  ‘Answered rather hotly. Guilty as charged,’ Amanda grinned.

  ‘I’m not.’ Darcy repeated.

  ‘I wouldn’t blame you. Ged is an absolute pig.’

  ‘Amanda!’

  ‘He is and you know my feelings on the matter. Who is it?’

  ‘I’m not having an affair!’ Darcy cried. Heads in The Sugar Cube snapped around in her direction and she blushed, lowering her voice. ‘Stop it. I’d tell you if I was.’

  ‘Alright…’ Amanda blew the foam from her cappuccino. ‘If you say so.’

  Darcy reached for her own drink, suddenly feeling queasy. There were some secrets that couldn’t be shared. If Amanda were ever to find out what had gone on between her and Harry – what had begun again on the night of the fashion show because Darcy was too weak to give him up – she would be truly appalled. And she would have every right to be.

  ‘Ethan Reeves seemed rather attentive the other night.’ Amanda gave an impish look from over the top of her cup.

  ‘At the show?’ Darcy asked, relieved that Amanda seemed to be way off the mark. She gave a nervous laugh. ‘I don’t think so; he’s like that with all the ladies.’

  ‘So he’s not your mystery man?’

  Darcy frowned, which set Amanda laughing.

  ‘Sorry. I simply love to see your face.’

  ‘How would you like a punch in yours?’

  ‘Most unladylike. I hope your mystery man has a black belt in karate; he obviously needs to defend himself against you, you violent harpy.’

  Darcy couldn’t help but laugh properly now, relaxing a little.

  ‘Only…’ Amanda began again in a teasing voice, ‘I do believe Harry Simmons has developed a bit of a crush on you too.’

  Darcy’s laughter died. Did Amanda really know? Was she playing some elaborate game? ‘He was all about Rachel the other night. They looked happy as pigs in mud together.’

  ‘He was there with Rachel but he was looking at you. A lot. And in a very appreciative way. And you know what they say about young boys and older women…’

  ‘That’s rubbish,’ Darcy snapped.

  ‘All I’m saying is take care, darling. You know not what power you p
ossess in your delectable female form.’

  ‘Amanda…’ Darcy replied, trying, but failing, to give a careless smile, ‘I think you were a bit too drunk to remember who was looking at who. In fact, I think you were a bit too drunk to remember much about the night at all.’

  Amanda shrugged. ‘So you say. But perhaps I was only pretending.’

  ‘Julia said he had been seeing Rachel for ages.’

  Amanda twisted her head around to where the girl in question was cleaning the glass panels at the back of the counter, and then looked back at Darcy. ‘When I spoke to Rachel before you arrived she told me Harry hadn’t been in since that night and he hasn’t called her. She also says that they haven’t been dating, contrary to what Julia may believe… Or what Harry would have her believe.’

  ‘Really?’ Darcy said, cursing herself for not being at the café before Amanda and for not being a better actress. The way Amanda looked at her was like she could see the very shape of her lies as she formed them. ‘That’s strange. He seemed so keen.’

  ‘Not so, apparently. And I’ll tell you something else… Rachel seemed very, very upset about it all. She says he isn’t the nice boy he makes out to everyone he is.’

  Darcy paused. She angled her head at the folder sitting at Amanda’s right elbow. ‘Did you want to go through the campaign figures?’

  ‘We can,’ Amanda said, obviously reluctant to change what she considered a very juicy subject, ‘If you want to be terribly dull.’

  ‘I spoke to Asda too, and they said they would put Sophie forward for one of their community causes, designate a box for people to put their tokens in. If she wins the month they’ll make a good donation.’