The Lie of Love Page 17

  ‘No –’

  ‘We didn’t even use this brand!’

  ‘I don’t know how it got there,’ Darcy repeated miserably.

  ‘Who is he?’

  ‘No one.’

  He stood, his face looming above hers, jaw clenched. ‘Who is he?’

  ‘Ged… you’re scaring me…’

  ‘Scaring you?’ he spat. ‘I haven’t even begun. You’d better explain this and you’d better be quick because I’m finding it very hard to keep my temper right now.’

  Darcy’s mouth worked but no sound would come out. It didn’t matter whether she told more lies or the truth now; it would all end the same way. But still she couldn’t bring herself to answer.

  ‘The kids…’ Darcy whispered, tears springing to her eyes. She blinked them away, determined not to give in to the fear threatening to engulf her.

  ‘What? You’re worried that they’ll hear us? You don’t want them to know that their mother is a whore?’

  ‘Please… it’s not what you think…’

  ‘Enlighten me, then.’

  She shook her head. ‘I can’t…’

  His lip curled into a sneer, pure hatred in his eyes. He stepped closer. She backed away. Time seemed to stop as Darcy waited for the blow to come. But she wouldn’t run and she wouldn’t cry out for him to stop. She would let him lash out, vent his anger, and she would take whatever he had got, knowing it was the only way to negate the betrayal.

  Moments passed. Then he stepped away, fists balled at his sides.

  ‘How could you do this to me?’

  Jake’s voice floated up from the hallway. Darcy couldn’t tell what he was saying. Nothing would compute as her brain fired thoughts in all directions, but she knew that they were waiting for the sort of days that normal couples gave their children.

  ‘What shall I tell them?’ she asked.

  ‘The kids?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Tell them the truth. Tell them what you’ve done.’

  ‘I can’t –’

  ‘TELL THEM!’

  Darcy heard Jake’s running footsteps clatter down the hallway, back towards the living room to where Sophie was squealing. All the time she watched Ged. He was like a cornered beast – unable to understand the reasons for his pain but ready to lash out against it. Terrifying, but Darcy’s heart ached for him. She had wanted many things, but not to hurt Ged in this way.

  ‘All the times you’ve made me feel like dirt, telling me how I damage the family, how I’m self-centred, how I don’t care about the kids….’ he growled, ‘all along it was you wrecking the family, you who was self-centred, you who should feel like dirt.’

  ‘It wasn’t like that.’

  ‘What was it like?’ He smacked the wall as he glared down at her. ‘WHAT WAS IT LIKE?’

  ‘You’re right to be angry,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘You’re admitting it?’

  She nodded slowly.

  ‘Who is it?’

  ‘I can’t tell you.’

  ‘I’ll kill you, so help me!’

  ‘I can’t…’

  ‘SIMMONS!’

  ‘It’s over… I’m sorry…’ Darcy wailed.

  He let out a roar, beating his fists against his head. Darcy fell back against the wall. This was it. She steeled herself. Just don’t kill me, she thought, don’t do that to the kids…

  Another guttural scream and he charged. She closed her eyes. There was a crash from across the room and Darcy opened them again to see him smash his fist into the dresser mirror.

  ‘Ged… NO!’

  He swept the dresser clear, bottles and trinkets spilling across the floor. The curtains were torn down, her wardrobe emptied and clothes ripped, all the time he was screaming. Blood ran down his arm. His eyes were empty, like his soul had been sucked out to leave nothing but pure, blind fury. And then one thought cut through the confusion to slap Darcy’s senses back. The kids…

  Ged had already shoved past her, out onto the landing. Darcy spun around and sprinted after him. On the stairs she hared through the gap between him and the wall, almost toppling down them as his arm shot out to grab her.

  ‘Kitchen, NOW!’ she yelled at Jake. He didn’t need to ask why; he paled as Ged chased Darcy in. She grabbed Sophie from the sofa and they ran for the back door.

  Darcy’s throat tightened as they raced through the side gate and out onto the driveway. She glanced at the car but that was no use now. They had to run, get away. She had no keys, no money, no phone, just her bewildered and terrified children.

  Out on the road, Darcy faltered, looking back at the gate. He wouldn’t dare come after her on the street, would he? The sound of crashing glass echoed out. Darcy heaved a silent sigh of relief. It looked as though their house was now bearing the brunt of his rage. She had to get the kids somewhere safe, somewhere calm, somewhere she could try to erase the trauma of what they had just witnessed.

  Amanda.

  Darcy had nobody else. Her parents had disowned her over a petty row years before. Ged’s had always been kind to her and the kids but she couldn’t go to them now.

  ‘What’s wrong with Dad?’ Jake asked.

  ‘He’s angry,’ Darcy replied. ‘We need to go to Amanda’s house.’

  ‘Can’t we go back in when he’s stopped being angry?’

  ‘I don’t think so.’ Darcy hitched Sophie up in her arms and nodded her head to Jake as she started to walk. ‘Come on.’

  ‘Can’t we go in the car?’

  ‘I don’t have the keys.’

  ‘Can’t we get them?’

  ‘Jake!’ Darcy snapped. ‘Do you fancy your chances getting my bag from the house right now?’

  Jake’s gaze dropped to his feet. Darcy stopped and sighed. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shout. But we have to go to Amanda’s and then I’ll phone your dad to see if I can sort everything. Ok?’

  Jake nodded; his gaze still on the ground. Darcy began to walk again and he followed. She glanced at Sophie. Her expression was as closed as always. Whatever the last ten minutes had done to her daughter’s mental state, Darcy wouldn’t find out for many days, perhaps never fully at all. Anguish twisted her heart. They shouldn’t have had to learn the harsher lessons in life – not so young and not like this. But all that had to wait too.

  Amanda gave a slightly baffled smile as she opened the door, but it faded as she took in Darcy’s anxious expression. ‘I thought you were out at the safari park today,’ she said. ‘What’s happened?’

  ‘Can we come in?’ Darcy asked.

  Amanda nodded and stepped back from the front door.

  ‘Is Howie in?’ Darcy glanced along the hallway where a half-eaten breakfast littering the kitchen table could be seen through the open door.

  ‘In the garden,’ Amanda said. ‘I could ask him to pop out if you want privacy.’

  Darcy gave her a tight smile. Amanda had always been remarkably astute, despite the impression she gave. ‘It doesn’t matter. He’ll probably find out sooner or later anyway.’

  ‘Come through,’ Amanda said, leading them to the kitchen. She turned to glance in turn at Jake and Sophie. ‘I bet you’d like some juice and cake, wouldn’t you? And then perhaps you could go and help Howie plant some carrots? How’s that sound?’ Jake nodded silently whilst Sophie simply eyed her with a sorrowful gaze. She turned to Darcy. ‘My God, what has happened?’

  Darcy gently lowered Sophie onto a chair and slumped into one beside her while Jake stood awkwardly at the kitchen doorway. She laid her head on the table and closed her eyes. Where did she even begin?

  Amanda’s voice brought her back to the room. ‘I’ll make some coffee,’ she said.

  Darcy watched as Amanda set about clearing the breakfast dishes before putting the kettle on to boil and spooning some coffee into a cafetiere. Neither she nor her children spoke, each processing the morning’s events in their own way. The most pressing thing for Darcy, right now, was whether sh
e could risk going home any time soon, if only to get the essentials she needed for her and the children to move out. Ged had been unpredictable, volatile in the past, but she had never seen it on the scale of today. He wasn’t a cruel man by nature, but his jealousy was, and it was easy to believe that today he could have beaten her… or worse.

  Amanda placed juice in front of Sophie and Jake, which they drank silently, their eyes never moving from Darcy.

  ‘Shall we see about that gardening?’ Amanda asked in a voice full of strained cheeriness.

  Jake nodded and stood up. Amanda swept Sophie into her arms and glanced at Darcy. ‘Don’t worry, I think Howie has a little fold-up garden chair for Sophie to save her sitting on the damp ground.

  Darcy stared at her without reply and Amanda took them out through the back door to find her husband.

  A few minutes later she returned and sat across from Darcy.

  ‘I had an affair,’ Darcy announced in a dull voice. There was no point flowering it and Amanda would have seen right through a myriad of excuses. Darcy had learned over the years that what she appreciated, more than anything, was honesty.

  Amanda nodded slowly. ‘Harry Simmons?’

  ‘You knew?’ Darcy asked, her eyes widening.

  ‘Rachel told me she’d seen you both together on the car park after the fashion show.’

  ‘I thought she had gone home?’ Darcy asked, her expression of shock almost comical.

  ‘She put us in a taxi and went back to find Harry. She found more than she bargained for by the looks of things’

  ‘But she didn’t say anything to anyone?’

  ‘Only me. I had thought she was mistaken at first – it was dark and we were all drunk – but the more I observed the more I began to think it was a possibility.’ She frowned. ‘I wanted to believe that you couldn’t be that stupid, though.’

  ‘Why didn’t you say something?’

  ‘What was I supposed to say? I hoped that if it was true you’d see sense and end it before any serious consequences came of it.’ She reached for Darcy’s hand. ‘I know how unhappy you’ve been with Ged… I think part of me wanted you to have an affair, have some fun, be happy…. but with Julia’s son? My God, Darcy, what were you thinking?’

  ‘I know…’ Darcy ran a hand through her hair and sniffed hard. ‘It was idiotic. It’s over now though.’

  ‘How did Ged find out then? I’m assuming that’s why you’re here.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter. The important thing is he knows and I haven’t a clue where I go from here.’

  ‘Do you want to leave him?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Darcy replied miserably. ‘I wish I did.’

  ‘Do you love him?’

  ‘Which one?’

  Amanda frowned and Darcy let out a sigh. ‘I don’t know that either.’

  ‘So the children know?’

  Darcy shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. They obviously know that something is very wrong but Ged and I have had screaming matches before. Hopefully they’ll just chalk it up to another one and not be too concerned.’

  ‘It didn’t look that way to me.’

  Darcy was silent for a moment, her gaze travelling to the kitchen window. The day outside was overcast but mild, a brisk breeze rustling the new foliage on a pear tree outside the window. Jake’s voice could just be heard, firing questions at Amanda’s husband out in the garden. Whatever Howie was telling him, at least Jake was engaged. Sophie would be watching silently, as she always did; her thoughts in that secret place known only to her.

  ‘Ged phoned me, you know,’ Amanda said.

  Darcy flicked her gaze back to her. ‘Ged did? When?’

  ‘After we’d been to Julia’s at Christmas. He was asking about Michael.’

  ‘What did he want to know?’

  ‘Whether you were having an affair with him.’

  Darcy’s eyes widened.

  ‘Of course, I told him that was a ridiculous accusation,’ Amanda continued. ‘I told him that you barely had time to get your hair done, let alone have an affair. I told him that you would never do such a thing, especially if it would betray Julia.’

  ‘I’m a bitch, aren’t I?’

  ‘It’s not for me to judge. What I’m getting at is that Ged had suspicions all along… it just wasn’t the right Simmons.’

  ‘But who would have ever guessed that?’ Darcy said miserably. ‘Then again, Ged has always been possessive, and he’s accused me of affairs before, even when I never did a thing against him.’

  ‘So you thought you’d get hung for a sheep as a lamb?’

  ‘NO!’ Darcy checked herself. ‘No…’ she repeated in a lower voice. ‘I never meant this to happen. Harry was so kind to me, so sweet… I just needed someone and he was there...’

  ‘Does Ged know who the real culprit is?’

  ‘No, he thinks…’ Darcy looked up at Amanda in horror. ‘Oh God he still thinks it’s Michael! You don’t think he’d do anything silly, do you?’

  ‘Like go over to Julia and tell her what he suspects? I think it’s quite possible.’

  ‘I have to get over there and make sure I speak to her first…’ Darcy began, leaping up from her chair.

  ‘And tell her what? That it’s ok, you haven’t been having an affair with her husband because you’ve been too busy screwing her twenty-year-old son?’

  ‘I have to do something! I can’t just let him burst in there and shout his mouth off!’

  ‘You don’t know he’s going to do that –’

  ‘He will… I’m so stupid for not thinking of it before…’ she glanced at the window. ‘Can you take me to Julia’s?’

  ‘Now?’

  Darcy nodded.

  Amanda bit her lip, but then let out a weary sigh. ‘Yes.’

  ‘I’ll go and fetch the kids…’

  ‘Whoa!’ Amanda held up a hand. ‘You can’t seriously be thinking of taking them with you! I’ll see if Howie can look after them for an hour.’

  Darcy gave her a tight smile. She wished she could express how grateful she was for Amanda’s support but her tired brain wouldn’t form the words. She could only hope that Amanda already knew it.

  ‘Perhaps you should call Ged first, see if he’s calmed down,’ Amanda said thoughtfully.

  Darcy nodded. ‘Can I borrow your phone?’

  Amanda handed it over and Darcy dialled home.

  ‘No reply,’ Darcy said after a few moments, the dread that squeezed her throat more palpable with every passing second.

  ‘I’ll speak to Howie.’ Amanda rushed out of the back door. Darcy watched through the window as she took her husband to one side and spoke to him, every so often casting anxious glances at the children who were both sorting through various packs of seeds. She saw Howie nod, and then Amanda marching back towards the house.

  ‘He’s not happy but he says he’ll do it,’ Amanda said as she came back in and unhooked a coat from the rack. ‘We’d better go now before he changes his mind.’

  Darcy was silent for most of the drive over to Julia’s, turning over the situation in her mind. What was she supposed to say to Julia? Telling her the truth if she didn’t need to seemed cruel. There was a possibility that Ged would not go over, that he might stop and think about the consequences before he acted. He didn’t have proof that Michael Simmons was anything to do with it at all. But when she thought about Ged’s rage, about the way he had been deaf to reason, she realised that the possibility he would go in with all guns blazing was a very real one too. How much information did she need to give to Julia?

  She thought about discussing it with Amanda, but her friend didn’t seem in the mood for sorting out what was really Darcy’s mess. And she couldn’t blame her for that – she had already asked too much of her over the months.

  Amanda pulled on the handbrake and Darcy was shaken from her musings to see that they had already arrived at the gates of Julia’s home.

  ‘Perhaps we should have phoned fi
rst,’ Darcy said.

  ‘And what would you have said on the phone? Best to see if Ged is here first and then figure out what to do next. With a bit of luck he’ll be at home sulking but calm enough for you to talk to.’ She climbed out of the car and Darcy followed. Her legs shook as the gravel drive crunched beneath her steps and she didn’t think she had ever felt so sick with guilt and fear in her entire life.

  The sound of a car engine roared behind them. Darcy spun around. With horror, she saw her own car race into view, brakes screeching as Ged pulled up.

  ‘Ged!’ Darcy shouted, running back.

  He leapt from the car and slammed the door behind him. ‘Come to warn him?’ he growled as he strode towards her.

  ‘Don’t be stupid! Whatever it is you’re going to do, just stop and think…’

  ‘You’d love that, wouldn’t you?’ he sneered. ‘Nothing would make you happier than me getting back in the car and driving off so you can keep your secrets.’ He shoved her out of the way and marched up the driveway. Darcy grabbed his arm and he spun around, pulling back his fist. Amanda flew between them and blocked it.

  ‘Don’t you bloody dare!’

  ‘Keep out of this you interfering cow!’

  ‘Stop it!’ Darcy cried, grabbing for his arm again. ‘For God’s sake please stop!’

  ‘OUT OF MY WAY!’ Ged roared, flinging Darcy off. She landed spread-eagled on the lawn. Something cracked in her wrist and she cried out. Amanda ran to her.

  ‘Darcy! Are you alright?’

  Darcy turned herself over and grimaced. ‘Yes,’ she said, flexing her hand.

  Ged was marching to the house again. He was six feet away from the door when it flew open and Michael appeared. In seconds he had taken in the scene: Darcy lying on the ground with Amanda knelt next to her, Ged’s cold menace as he stared him down.

  ‘What the bloody hell is going on?’ he shouted.

  Ged closed the gap and swung for him. Michael was stocky but he was more agile than he looked. He sidestepped, avoiding the blow and instinctively landing one of his own to Ged’s cheek.

  ‘What’s wrong with you, man?’ he cried.